There is a lot of cattiness and judging that goes on between the contestants. It’s immediately apparent who thinks they are the best, and who is spending a lot of time focusing on others’ projects. It’s also quickly apparent who is not paying much attention to everyone else, and is focused only on their own work at hand.
Last night, the contestant who won both immunity and the elimination round was a woman who not only focused on her own project, but she also was genuinely sad when others did not win. She was observant, careful, and compassionate. She was also going for the win.
Sometimes, the ruthless, catty, arrogant contestants win a round. But in both Project Runway and Top Chef, the overall winners most often seem to be the quiet, observant, and non-competitive ones. How ironic, that the non-competitive contestants would be winners. But so often, in life, that’s how it is. Have you noticed that?
I notice this trend in homeschooling. Families who spend time judging others and talking about how this family isn’t doing well or that family is messing up, are the ones who always seem to be having trouble. Whereas the quiet, observant, and supportive families are the ones who seem to do well, even in the face of challenge.
I’m starting to see how this powerful understanding works everywhere. Even in politics, compassion and non-judgement makes an impression and has lasting stick.
Is this a psychological thing? Are the people who complain about others and judge using it as a way to cover up their own failures? And people who don’t judge as a habit, are already successful so they don’t need to? Or does the judging and time spent pointing fingers create failure by reducing the amount of energy that we have to focus on our own success? And do those who don’t judge have a higher likelihood of success because they spend their mental energy on their own projects?
What do you think? Does judging others and pointing fingers at other people’s or system’s problems create problems for ourselves? Does it make it less likely that we will succeed? Or is it more complicated than that?