According to Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, authors of The Five Love Languages of Children, speaking the right love language helps our children grow into responsible, happy adults.
I read this book a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t read the original 5 Love Languages, yet. So the concept, although I had heard of it before, was relatively new to me.
These are the five love languages. Which ones do your children respond to? What about you?
#1 Physical Touch: Hugs, kisses, rough housing, pats on the back, hair ruffle, these are all different ways to love through physical touch. My kids get a hug and a kiss every morning, and one every night. We’re all physical in this family. That isn’t too hard to make sure we get enough of. But our littlest one, this is by far her favorite love language. Hubby likes this one too.
#2 Words of Affirmation: Saying, “I love you”, (appropriate) praise, acknowledgment, personal notes, telling other people that we like them, there are many ways to use words to show our love. My middle child is the one who, out of the 5 of us, particularly appreciates this kind of love.
#3 Quality Time: Doing things together, helping kids with their projects, having conversations, going out one on one, being together with the people we love is invigorating to some, and suffocating to others. For those who prefer this love language, being together feels really good. This is my primary love language.
#4 Gifts: This is the love language that is the easiest to offer, but the hardest to show our true sincerity. It’s easy to use a gift as a replacement for real showing of love. But done right, with a person who speaks this language, it can mean a lot. This is my mom’s and my mother-in-law’s primary language.
#5 Acts of Service: Helping with the dishes, doing a chore so that our loved one doesn’t have to, making our loved one’s lives easier by going out of our way, this is the love language called “acts of service.” I think this kind of showing of love is more natural for women than for men. What do you think?
Chapman and Campbell assure us that most of us speak all 5 languages. And our children deserve to be loved in all 5 different ways. It’s also normal for kids, and adults, to shift their languages, and come to prefer a different language than they used to. So it’s important to keep using all 5 languages regularly, while keeping in mind which ones the people we love prefer. That way, when they don’t respond to us, it’s not a rejection of us, we just know that we aren’t speaking their language.
What do you think of the 5 love languages? Do you think homeschooling effects the way we speak love to each other?