Hot Homeschoolin’ Mamas or More Thoughts on Feminist Homeschooling

Here’s a topic that doesn’t get talked about much – chic homeschool mamas.

My good friend, Elizabeth, is a hot homeschoolin’ mama. She’s attractive, is fashionable and is, in some ways, glamorous (in other ways, earthy).

But, there’s something about her that makes her different than the other chic mamas I know. She’s chic and attractive, but she’s not obsessed about it. She’s found a balance between being comfortable in sweats, and wearing a form fitting dress. I think what really shows is that she likes her body, in an honest, down to earth way. She treats it well, dresses it well and is comfortable in her skin.

She’s an awesome role model for me. She reminds me that it’s OK to be beautiful and love our bodies without being superficial. It’s not pandering to commercialism to look nice on a regular basis. I don’t have to ignore how I look to avoid being sucked into obsessing about how I look.

I think it’s OK to be a hot homeschoolin’ mama. When I say “hot”, I mean one of those women that give off the clear message that they are comfortable with their bodies, with themselves and aren’t afraid to be a woman. They don’t have to wear dresses or wear lots of make up. That’s not what makes a woman chic. It’s an attitude of “I’m a woman, and it’s great.”

I suppose this delves into feminism a bit, which is a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot. Feminism in the context of being married, of being a mom and of being a homeschooler. I think they overlap, but there are different issues.

Being a “mom” or a “homeschooler” doesn’t mean we have to give up our feminine side. In fact, the more women I meet, the more I think that it’s absolutely important that we hold on to that. To embrace who we are as women.

I have never seen one particular friend wear make up. She wears jeans and a t-shirt usually. It looks fine on her, fits her personality. Well, the other day, she was wearing make up (not a lot, just a touch), had on a non t-shirt (still jeans) and flat sandals. These little touches made a huge difference. She was still the same person, but she had this glow about her. Like she was proud of how she looked, and who she was. She just seemed… together. It was partly her makeup and all that… but that was because she embraced her feminine side and showed a certain amount of pride in her presence that made a difference. I don’t know what prompted her change of appearance, but whatever it was, she looked fabulous.

These little changes were more “feminist” in my estimation than a complete makeover. They weren’t over the top. Not overly done. Barely even noticable to one who wasn’t paying attention. She was balanced.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I have a boyish hair cut. But I have the tell-tale hips of a woman, and other attributes that are not at all masculine. I used to hide behind black, loose clothes. I used feel that the only way to be attractive was to be thin and able to wear the latest fashions. I had accepted that was never going to be me, so I was OK just how I was. So, to deal with that reality, I turned away from my body and ignored it. I couldn’t reconcile my idea of what a woman should look like, and my own femininity.

Then, over time, I found my balance. I found a hair cut that is cute, sexy and strong all at once. A set of clothing that shows off my feminine side, but is also simple and easy to choose in the morning. My make up is there, accentuating my favorite parts, but most people say that I don’t look like I have any make up on. (They may be able to notice if they see me in the morning when I wake up 😛 I found physical activities that make me feel strong and flexible (yoga and running, and in the past strength training and step aerobics). I learned how to recognize the positives in my emotions and empathetic tendencies (although, I admit, still working on that one.)

When I found my balance, I had an “ah-ha” moment. THIS is what it means to be strong woman. Not being more like a man. Not being non-feminine or “neutral”. Not sacrificing my looks and personal strengths because I’m in a mom role now. Being a homeschooler doesn’t mean I need to give up myself and my womanhood.
It’s not just about being a “woman”. It’s about being me. Wherever that lands me. Sometimes that lands me in an arena that is commonly filled with men (online video games, philosophy) and sometimes it’s in an arena usually populated by women (Tupperware, horoscopes, online chatting). And very often in areas that are mixed. Wherever I am, I’m still me.

And that’s what being a hot homeschoolin’ mama is about. Not being afraid to be a woman, yet not being trapped by being a woman either. When you meet a homeschoolin’ mama like this, it’s obvious. You know who I’m talking about. We all have friends who fall in this category. And these are the women who are role models to us all.


7 Responses to “Hot Homeschoolin’ Mamas or More Thoughts on Feminist Homeschooling”

  1. gibsongirl247 Says:

    Yes, I know what you mean. I have friends that always look put together not because they are dressed in the latest fashions but because they are comfortable in their own skin.
    I’m working on it. I need to quit listening to what society says I should look like (or act like) and just enjoy the way God made me:)

  2. Sienna Wildfield Says:

    Thanks for writing this article. Rediscovering and/or redefining our feminine flare after we’ve had children is such an important topic! For me, it’s the mama’s that are nurturing themselves through healthy eating, exercising, and a positive outlook that are sources of inspiration. Of course a cute haircut and a little mascara go a long way too! 🙂

  3. lotus Says:

    this entire post caught my eye, because it is one of the things we talk about constantly……have a wonderful day lotus

  4. Kimberly Says:

    I am really enjoying your blog lately. So, thank you for sharing your thoughts out loud… And, hello! I am appreciating what you have to say.

    People are often surprised to learn that we are homeschooling. I think our appearance does throw many off on that point (we look “normal” I guess). Then, they seem confused when their ideas about who we are–based on those assumptions–don’t match up with what they hear coming out of our mouths in conversation. It’s sort of funny sometimes.

    I think I am a feminist hotty homeschooling mommy. Or, at least I aspire to be! Bust up the stereotypes. That is my goal. Some days I reach closer to my target than others. In any case, I am happy to know there are like-minded fhhm’s out there. Little by little, I am meeting them in ones and twos. Thank you for writing about this!

    I think these last two posts have resonated with me because homeschooling is such a lifestyle decision, and you’re talking about issues having to do with being a singular person at the same time. Balancing it all together I suppose. So important! I am at the beginning of this balancing act. It’s nice to read about someone who seems to be a bit further ahead on this journey, with more experience and some developed thoughts about it.

  5. StayatHomeSchoolDad Says:

    No thoughts on feminist home school dads?!?

    Just kidding…I consider myself a feminist even though I’m male…perhaps it’s the “traditional” feminine role I fill these days…

    I also couldn’t help but think of Sojourner Truth’s “Ain’t I a Woman” speech. I’m sure you know it. Reminds me of a talk I had with my son a couple of years ago. Explaining to him some history, he interrupted to ask, “Weren’t there any famous women in history, dad?” “Well, yes, but you know, women haven’t been given enough credit and much of history is just that: his-story. So, it’s usually been written by men, men like kings and exploreres and conquerors.” “But dad, weren’t those men BORN???”

    Radical, post-modern, feminist critique of the patriarchical status quo by a seven year old boy. Pretty good, eh?

  6. Anne Says:

    Amen, sister! I was turned to your site a few days ago, and have enjoyed the browsing! This post, however, stirs something inside me. I consider myself a radical feminist for holding these same views. Mainstream feminism has been hijacked by women (and “supportive” men) who really just think we can be like men. Not me! Instead, let’s place a value on being a REAL woman..make-up or not, trendy or not, tall, short, fat, thin. Let us be authentic. Thank you for such a great post!

  7. Lisa B Says:

    Loved your blog on this Tammy! I made a decision long ago to embrace my role in life because I created it. When I made the mental shift from mom to goddess I felt better abut being a benevolent leader. My old dialog was feeling put apon that I couldn’t get any time to myself but my new dialogis of course my children want me around all the time, I’m a fantastic person to hang out with! My old dialog was that my husband was just one more chore or person wanting a piece of me and my time. My new dialog is about how he loves me so much he can’t get enough of me, I am one hot mama! Now I totally embrace the fact that women are fabulous and mothers are the best friends and teachers so of course we in high demand by everyone. We all deserve to be worshiped and as goddesses we just need to be patient with those who worship us 🙂

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