Chelsea Link, 18, Homeschooled, Accepted to Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, Stanford, U of Chicago, and Northwestern

Chelsea Link says this about her extraordinary, yet relaxed, life: “I think I’ve had a pretty normal high school experience . . . just without the high school.”

Another interesting quote by Christopher Watson, admissions dean at Northwestern, “We haven’t changed the way we review applications, but the way home-schoolers are submitting applications has changed,” he said. “They’ve become very good at taking out the question marks.”

Perhaps it’s a combination of the two? Northwestern may not have changed it’s admissions process, but other universities have.

Congratulations Chelsea! Reading science magazines and playing music is a fine way to go through childhood.

5 Homeschool Must-haves for 2008

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. But I do like to reassess my life and make adjustments when the time is right. Jan 4th is a great time to reassess; the holidays are over, it’s almost time to start classes again, and I have a huge deadline in a couple of days. So yes, it’s time to get my head on straight (again) and move forward.

5 things in 2007 made a difference for me. And for 2008, they will be must-haves for our homeschooling success.

1) A place to work. I’m not super neat, although I like clean spaces. And I’m not obsessed with keeping the house organized, although I am comforted by knowing where things are. The one thing that keeps us sane, is having one clean space where we can do our projects. If we can have 3-4 clean spaces, even better. It worked well in 2007 to focus on the key points in the house that need to be clean, and letting the rest go.

2) My own hobbies. It may not seem like having my own hobbies is important for homeschooling. But in 2007, the times I was anxious, nervous, or over-worried about my kids were the times that I felt like I had no purpose. Scrutinizing my kids became my purpose. The times I had my hobbies in order, and felt like I had my own meaning, I was a better parent, a better teacher, and our homeschooling was overall more effective.

Case in point: I’ve been learning about social networking and social bookmarking. I’m pretty tech savvy, but this is giving me quite a bit of a challenge. There is just so much to know. I feel like there’s a wall that I have to get over. Once I’m over it, it’ll all make sense. It’s so important that I go through this, because with this experience, I am reminded what my kids feel like when they are learning something new. What they really need during this time isn’t for me to try and pull them over the wall. It’s a whole lot easier to help someone get a foothold and boost them over the wall when they want to do it, than it is to carry dead weight over it. I didn’t learn about social networking before now because I didn’t want to. My husband tried, but I wouldn’t budge. Now, I’m willing to put the effort in, and every little boost is welcome.

My own hobbies = understanding how to help my kids better.

3) A hug in the morning and a hug at night. This is a ritual I promised myself I’d do when my kids were born. First thing in the morning - a hug. Last thing at night - a hug. 2007 was a great year for that. I did slide here and there because of being sick, or falling asleep before the kids did, or being grumpy. Overall, it was a good habit. The morning hug is like a reset button for the day. The nighttime hug helps us all sleep better. Being close is our number one priority. 2008 will be another year of hugs and love.

4) Tape, paint, paper, pencils, markers, marbles and paper towel rolls. We’re fans of pre-fab activities and projects. But nothing gets a workout like the random open-ended materials we have on hand. 2007 was pretty good with that. So I’d like to do even more with this. Maybe even get a big clear box, that can hold lots of small boxes, each with a different kind of material to use. Glue, paint and other messy things will be in a separate box. All of the working materials in the big box. And have it near our clean space. What do you think - which cheap open-ended material could I store in there? The possibilities are endless!

5) Free time. Scheduled time is easy to come by and easy to manage. It’s the free time that we all need more of, and we all need to (continue to) learn how to enjoy. Time is a commodity that we can never have more of. Asking for more time is like asking for the moon. All we can do is rearrange the time we have, choosing to spend it in different ways. Free time is when I get to work on those hobbies, in my clean space, while giving the kids hugs. Free time doesn’t happen on its own, we gotta make it happen.

2008 is going to be great! Equipped with these five homeschooling must-haves, we’re ready to have a fantastic year.

Stumble It!

Good and Bad Schools, Education

“‘good public school’ —Now that’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one. With public schools it’s not a matter of whether they are good or bad. There are just different levels of bad.”

This is a quote I read today on a blog about why someone chose not to homeschool. (email me for link)

Now, I’m not exactly public school’s number one fan, but I have to ask - why does this person have the right or the privilege of deciding whether or not schools are “bad”? “Bad” - what does that mean exactly?

When someone says school, or homeschool or parents or whatever is “bad”, I immediately wonder what they are talking about. What do they mean? Because odds are, their idea of “bad” is very different than my idea of bad.

Comments like these may make us feel powerful and strong, but they make us look like dorks. To be honest.

First of all, there is no such thing as a universal “good” or “bad”. Especially when it comes to education. There are schools and educational approaches that meet our needs or criteria, and there are those that don’t. But since every person has different criteria for a good education, what one person would consider a “good” school, another person will see it as “bad”. One person sees test scores, graduation rates and credentialed teachers, another sees gangs, unhealthy competition and socialist indoctrination.

Secondly, people aren’t perfect. Nobody. So, why does my opinion of what is a good school or education count more than someone who doesn’t agree with me? Why does mob rule have more clout? Simply because more people believe it? Everyone’s opinion of whether an educational program is “good” or ‘bad” is based on their internal system of beliefs and experiences.

This is one reason that I don’t argue that homeschooling is the best choice for everyone. Although I believe that homeschooling is indeed the most flexible, and everyone is fully capable of homeschooling if that’s what their desire and intention is, I still don’t see homeschooling as some kind of elevated plane of existence. It’s just… different. Better for some. Not for others. Better for me.

I see no problem with people saying homeschooling is better. But for me to agree or make any kind of critical assessment of their statement, it must be made clear what their idea of “better” and “good” is. Because if we don’t agree on that basic premise (which we probably won’t), then what that person says is “better” about homeschooling, may actually be “worse” in my eyes. Or perhaps, not really that significant at all.

So, “bad” , “good”.. .that doesn’t mean anything to me when I see it if it doesn’t have a concrete context. If we want to get our point across clearly, we need to be careful when we use ambiguous words to describe schools and education. Most likely, the person who is reading our commentary isn’t thinking about what we think is good and bad, but their own definition - unless we prep them first.

If we just want to get people all riled up, well then, that’s a different story entirely.

Three Tenets to Homeschool By

1. Everyone is a genius in their own right. Great mathematicians and artists are not the only gifted ones. There are those who are gifted in communication, in motivating others, in dealing with stress, in explaining things, in remembering details, in managing people and projects, in being organized, in seeing the true nature of people… There are so many ways to be gifted, and most of them are overlooked because they can’t be measured.

2. It’s far easier to fill an adult’s academic and knowledge holes than it is to fill a spiritual or emotional one. A child’s enthusiasm for life, emotional life experiences and how he is supported is far more important and influential than the facts he learns along the way. A child who has a positive attitude towards himself and the world around him will grow up to do great things, no matter how much he is capable of academically.

3. Education is a family adventure. Learning and growing is not just for kids. Parents who pursue their own learning and growth foster a love of true education in their children. When mom and dad are learning just as much as the kids are, and show a genuine interest in the world around them, it’s contagious. A parent who is curious about her world on many different levels, and shares that with her child, makes her job as a homeschooling parent much easier.

What are your 3 homeschool tenets? If you blog your answers, link to your blog in the comments.

Reasons for Homeschooling

So, there have been a bunch of studies showing the reasons that people choose to homeschool. These reasons get quoted a lot in articles.

But I have two questions in this regard:

1) Why don’t these questionnaires offer the choice of: “Flexibility and freedom to meet everyone’s needs”. How about the choice of, “Family closeness”? And what about the choice of, “To have more joy, meaning and happiness in our lives”?  There are so many good reasons to homeschool that never get mentioned. I suppose, that one could assume these reasons as a result of the choices indicated on the survey. But, really, one would have to think a little bit before coming to that conclusion. I doubt many people get that far after reading “concern about the environment of other schools” or “to provide religious or moral instruction”.

2) Why do parents choose to send their children to public school? If I had to guess the number one reason, “Because that’s just what people do.” or “We don’t have any other choice.” Nobody homeschools for the former reason, and very few people homeschool for the latter (and usually as a result of the public schools totally botching things up). In my estimation, any reason to homeschool is better than those reasons. Even if I don’t agree with the reason or the ultimate how. At least homeschooling parents are standing up and making a conscious choice. (I read an article somewhere that, on average, people spend more time researching which car to buy than the best way to educate their children.) Of course, not saying all public school parents are like this. Of course not. However, the percentage of public school parents who choose public school because they have seriously considered other options and studied the validity of teaching methods at the school down the street is significantly less than 100%.

So, I’d like to see a two new polls: 1) A homeschool poll that has more options to check off. And 2) a public school poll that includes “Because we have no choice” and “Just cuz that’s what happens at age 5, right?”

Do Homeschoolers Have a Better Chance at Success Because They Can Create Their Own Luck?

I don’t believe in luck. Good things and bad things and neutral things come at us all the time. It’s our choice on how we interpret these things and how we respond. What we choose to see. What we choose to react to.

My husband is a good example. He is a lucky guy. It’s how he responds to his universe that makes him that way. He takes a ‘wait and see’ approach and then responds only to the things that are positive. He doesn’t do it consciously (perhaps that’s why it looks as if he’s so effortlessly lucky).

Since homeschoolers have more flexibility and choice in their lives (both kids and parents), do we have a better chance of being lucky? Because we can choose to?

J.D. Roth over at ZenHabits would likely agree. If you look at his list of how to attain good luck, it’s pretty darn close to the lists I’ve made here about how to have a more successful homeschooling life.

One of my many favorites on his list:

4. Wake up — before your dreams come true. When I was a boy, I loved computers. Computer programmers, like those in WarGames and Real Genius, were my heroes. But when I finally got a chance to program computers, it wasn’t anything like I had imagined it. It was drudgery. I gave up my dream and moved on to something else. Pursue goals, but be sure to reassess your progress and your priorities at regular intervals to prevent yourself from becoming trapped in a reality that is nothing like your dreams.

As homeschoolers, we can pursue our dreams as soon as we have them. And since we have endless time, we can determine quickly what works and what doesn’t. Homeschoolers can have many, many dreams. We aren’t limited to the one dream we have all of our lives “when we’re finally done with school”. We can do what our dreams are now. And find out, for real, if our dreams are what we really want to do. (Kids and parents too, BTW.)

This is just one of the many parallels I can draw form his list. I encourage you to read it. And create more luck in your life, because you are free to do so.

Intellectual Jam Session - That’s What Homeschooling Can Be, You Know

I have a (relatively) new post up at LifeWithoutSchool. Cuz, you know, to us, homeschooling is an intellectual jam session.

Is It Worth It to Argue?

Ok, there are two blog posts I’m sitting on right now, not sure if I should post them.

One is a response to a particularly acidic blog post about how homeschooling isn’t working because her crying kids aren’t doing what she is asking them to, and is bitter that homeschooling isn’t a “honeymoon”.

The second is a question about unschooling and how could it possibly ever work and what the hell are these poor unschooled kids going to do when they “finally” are faced with the reality of having to do something other than play.

My question to myself - should I let it go? Or go ahead and answer?

It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, so I’ll avaste and arrgh myself through the day today, while thinking about this.

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Is Homeschooling Better than School?

Well, it depends who you ask.

I was responding to a blog post today about how homeschoolers are “blind” to how homeschooling can ruin their kids, because, well, they are homeschoolers. And how parents with strong personalities can make their kids basket cases.

Ok. So, let’s turn that around. Public school parents/administrators/teachers are “blind” to how school can ruin their kids, because, well, they are public schoolers. And how parents and teachers and other kids with strong personalities can make their kids basket cases.

I’m not saying that homeschooling is better. What I am saying is that homeschooling is not worse because there are some that “fail” or have a hard time as adults. Homeshcooling is only “worse” because most people haven’t experienced it, and don’t get it. So they see it that way. And because people make the choice to homeschool, instead of choosing their preferred educational choice, it is treated with some kind of higher expectation than anything else. That if a kid doesn’t live up to society’s expectation of what they are supposed to do, it’s an indication that homeschooling is a problem, and should be questioned, monitored and otherwise messed with. That if homeschooling “fails” a kid, then some huge horrible thing has happened. Yet, when kids in school come out of it with many, many adults who have let them get screwed up on the way, it’s just, well, the natural way of things. And, let’s slap on another rule, regulation or test that still doesn’t change the results all that much.

Schools don’t generate 100% returns. Many kids have problems. In fact, a much higher percentage of kids come out of schools with various problems, issues and struggles. Yet, few question the validity of whether the schools are the best place for kids to grow up. Well, except for the people who leave school to homeschool. Every year we pump through a graduating class of children that absolutely know for sure will produce at least a certain percentage of unhappy and unready almost-adults, yet we keep doing it year after year after year. How is that any different, or BETTER, than a few homeschooling students coming through the process with some unreadiness issues? How is it that homeschooling “failures” are worse than public school failures?

Here’s a way to explain this what one person considers to be the “best” place to grow up differs from the next. Yet, in the end, none of them are the best for everyone. No state is the best state, no city is the best city, no religion is the best. Everything is determined by the individual making the assessment. The same is true with education. We’re OK with the idea of different people wanting to live in different states. But we (as a society) are not OK with the idea of different people wanting to live a different educational life.

It’s the current state of thing that in this country, most people believe from their point of view that public school is the best place for all. Doesn’t mean it is actually the best. It means that’s what our culture knows. What we understand.

Where we sit is limited by our experiences. To say that someone else’s position is “wrong” simply because it isn’t the same seat we are in is myopic. It’s the very thing our culture says that public school is supposed to teach us not to do—instead we’re supposed to understand where other people from different backgrounds and places are coming from.

Yet, those who are the most adamantly opposed to homeschooling have very little understanding. And create a concrete opinion based on limited personal experience and media exposure. Hell, even those IN the community do that. Homeschoolers who don’t approve of other homeschoolers. If homeschoolers themselves can’t find common ground, how can we expect non-homeschoolers to even come close to understanding where we are coming from?

This is one reason that my husband and I homeschool our kids. Not because we wanted to shield them from what’s going on in school. But because we wanted them to see the stuff that isn’t taught in schools. The many different viewpoints. The alternate ideas. To question things, and be free to say, “I want to know more about this and really understand it.” And have time to do that. To be able to explore the world - even the stuff that nobody wants anyone to know. To see that their view is not privileged. Nobody’s view is privileged. And that in any society, the majority opinion is not “right”. There is no such thing as “right”. There are only trends in thought. Can you imagine a school that taught that? A school that really allowed its students to see that the school is just a system that everyone has agreed upon, and that’s why it works. It doesn’t work the way it does because it’s right. But because all the participants have tacitly agreed to follow the rules, even if they don’t make sense.

(Don’t worry. Our kids get plenty of exposure to arbitrary rules and systems. They are involved in park and rec classes. Some with some seriously boot-camp teachers. And we go to Disneyland, the kingdom of tacit rule following, on a regular basis.)

The only kinds of things we shield our kids from are things like the idea that in order to be worth something, someone else has to say that you’re good enough. That’s the biggest lie that our students in school are taught. That if they don’t do the right thing, don’t get good grades, don’t live up to everyone’s expectations, they’ve failed. Another is the idea that children have to spend their entire lives performing to get that prize that never arrives. Sure, everyone gets judged in “real life” and we have people who we need to please in order to get what we want. But not everyday. Not every single piece of work we produce. And man, we don’t need to have to “practice” that all the time in order to be able to deal with it. Plus, anyone who has that in everyday life is living a pretty crappy life in my opinion. Adults choosing that kind of crappy job is one thing. That’s their choice. But children who don’t have a choice, that’s just mean.

These are some of my personal reasons. This doesn’t mean it’s right or that anyone else should agree with me. I respect those who don’t agree with that and make different life choices for their children based on different values of what’s important in life. But just because I don’t agree with how school should educate children, and I choose not to be a part of it, doesn’t mean that I need some sense slapped into me. I’m free to choose. And so long as we are free to choose in this country, I will choose. Take away choice for people to have their own opinions and do things their way, even if it seems a “disservice” to kids, is not freedom. It’s forcing people to bend to the current social point of view. Which, if we look at history, has *never* been right. Why, is right now, in the time we just happen to live in, the “right” opinion? In 50 years, we’ll look back at today and see just how wrong we were.

And who knows, maybe homeschooling is actually better, but because 99% of the country has never tried it, they’re all missing out.

Or maybe homeschoolers actually are missing out. But, if I have to make a wager, I’ll bet on homeschooling. There’s always time for kids to go to school if they want. Once that window of childhood freedom is over, it’s rare that we get a chance to be this free again. I’m betting that we’ll miss out on less if we homeschool. And, if it does turn out all homeschooelrs have screwed up, we’re only 1% of the population, remember? Why is that even interesting to public schoolers? Even if we were 5%, that’s still far less than the percentage of kids who come through the school system braindead, burned out or lost.

As a conclusion, homeschooling is better than school if you think it is. It’s not better if you don’t. Simple as that. Not worth fighting about. It’s like fighting over which is better - apples or bananas.

Two Kinds of Rules

Over the weekend, I was thinking about rules. And homeschooling. And unschooling. And school. And society at large.

I like rules. I’m one who speaks up if someone takes a picture in a show that says, “no flash photography.” I speak up when someone cuts in line. I say, “hey”, when people are talking in the movie theater.

I generally don’t like chaos. I like when it’s clear what people are supposed to be doing. I also like family rules, and social rules, and all that.

But there are rules that I cannot stand.

- all kids have to do their homework, no matter what
- everyone has to submit to policemen without question
- kids who have to do what their parents say, even if they don’t understand why

Stuff like that.

I’m a rule breaker. A doubter. A rebel. Because I don’t blindly follow rules. But there are rules that I do follow, and expect other people to follow.

There are two kinds of rules:

1) Rules that benefit the people they effect.

2) Rules that benefit the people who make them.

The first kind of rule are the ones I stand behind, and enjoy having in my life. The second kind piss me off.

In some cases, a rule can be in both categories, or it’s not clear which category it should be in. That’s where debate and discussion are really important. It’s important to know if a rule benefits the people it effects. If it doesn’t, it’s a rule of convenience. A rule of control. A rule to make people into sheep. If it’s a rule that helps people have freedom, have individualism, and to be safe from the chaos of other people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want (whether they are in the general population or in positions of power), they are rules that we need to have around.

In school, what kind of rules dominate? In our homeschools, what kinds of rules dominate?

This is sort of about democracy, and it’s sort of not. What it is about, is whether or not the people enforcing the rules give a damn about the people who are subject to them. Who do the rules protect? Who do they help? Is it even a “who” the rules help at all? Or is it a process that the rules help?

We can all get used to any rules that are thrust upon us. But the rules that we’ll follow, and that don’t require active coercion to enforce, are the rules that make sense.

What do you think about the two kinds of rules? Can you think of some rules that “make sense” to you and some rules that seem not quite right, or piss you off? Can you divide them into the two categories?