Hot Homeschoolin’ Mamas or More Thoughts on Feminist Homeschooling

Here’s a topic that doesn’t get talked about much - chic homeschool mamas.

My good friend, Elizabeth, is a hot homeschoolin’ mama. She’s attractive, is fashionable and is, in some ways, glamorous (in other ways, earthy).

But, there’s something about her that makes her different than the other chic mamas I know. She’s chic and attractive, but she’s not obsessed about it. She’s found a balance between being comfortable in sweats, and wearing a form fitting dress. I think what really shows is that she likes her body, in an honest, down to earth way. She treats it well, dresses it well and is comfortable in her skin.

She’s an awesome role model for me. She reminds me that it’s OK to be beautiful and love our bodies without being superficial. It’s not pandering to commercialism to look nice on a regular basis. I don’t have to ignore how I look to avoid being sucked into obsessing about how I look.

I think it’s OK to be a hot homeschoolin’ mama. When I say “hot”, I mean one of those women that give off the clear message that they are comfortable with their bodies, with themselves and aren’t afraid to be a woman. They don’t have to wear dresses or wear lots of make up. That’s not what makes a woman chic. It’s an attitude of “I’m a woman, and it’s great.”

I suppose this delves into feminism a bit, which is a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot. Feminism in the context of being married, of being a mom and of being a homeschooler. I think they overlap, but there are different issues.

Being a “mom” or a “homeschooler” doesn’t mean we have to give up our feminine side. In fact, the more women I meet, the more I think that it’s absolutely important that we hold on to that. To embrace who we are as women.

I have never seen one particular friend wear make up. She wears jeans and a t-shirt usually. It looks fine on her, fits her personality. Well, the other day, she was wearing make up (not a lot, just a touch), had on a non t-shirt (still jeans) and flat sandals. These little touches made a huge difference. She was still the same person, but she had this glow about her. Like she was proud of how she looked, and who she was. She just seemed… together. It was partly her makeup and all that… but that was because she embraced her feminine side and showed a certain amount of pride in her presence that made a difference. I don’t know what prompted her change of appearance, but whatever it was, she looked fabulous.

These little changes were more “feminist” in my estimation than a complete makeover. They weren’t over the top. Not overly done. Barely even noticable to one who wasn’t paying attention. She was balanced.

I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I have a boyish hair cut. But I have the tell-tale hips of a woman, and other attributes that are not at all masculine. I used to hide behind black, loose clothes. I used feel that the only way to be attractive was to be thin and able to wear the latest fashions. I had accepted that was never going to be me, so I was OK just how I was. So, to deal with that reality, I turned away from my body and ignored it. I couldn’t reconcile my idea of what a woman should look like, and my own femininity.

Then, over time, I found my balance. I found a hair cut that is cute, sexy and strong all at once. A set of clothing that shows off my feminine side, but is also simple and easy to choose in the morning. My make up is there, accentuating my favorite parts, but most people say that I don’t look like I have any make up on. (They may be able to notice if they see me in the morning when I wake up I found physical activities that make me feel strong and flexible (yoga and running, and in the past strength training and step aerobics). I learned how to recognize the positives in my emotions and empathetic tendencies (although, I admit, still working on that one.)

When I found my balance, I had an “ah-ha” moment. THIS is what it means to be strong woman. Not being more like a man. Not being non-feminine or “neutral”. Not sacrificing my looks and personal strengths because I’m in a mom role now. Being a homeschooler doesn’t mean I need to give up myself and my womanhood.
It’s not just about being a “woman”. It’s about being me. Wherever that lands me. Sometimes that lands me in an arena that is commonly filled with men (online video games, philosophy) and sometimes it’s in an arena usually populated by women (Tupperware, horoscopes, online chatting). And very often in areas that are mixed. Wherever I am, I’m still me.

And that’s what being a hot homeschoolin’ mama is about. Not being afraid to be a woman, yet not being trapped by being a woman either. When you meet a homeschoolin’ mama like this, it’s obvious. You know who I’m talking about. We all have friends who fall in this category. And these are the women who are role models to us all.